MINDERS 420

In an unexpected event last Wednesday, two of our respected senior citizens were seen topless in the town square. Many residents were amazed and sought an explanation for this uncharacteristic behaviour, which appeared to involve the exchange of money. Senior reporter Kalista McGuighan was able to catch the moment and provide us with an explanation to go with the shot she captured (reproduced with the participants agreement). “On the face of it”, she said, “it does look a bit dubious, but in fact it is quite innocent and has benefitted the community. Let me qualify that. Last Wednesday’s incident was quite innocent but the same might not be said for what goes on in GE City where this – should I call it practice – started a few weeks ago.” She went on to explain that in the city many girls and women felt obliged to go about topless. This had proved a boon to the city’s plastic surgeons who had been ‘running to the bank’ with the proceeds of many ‘boob jobs’ on women not wishing to be outdone by younger members of the community in the daily parade of breasts swinging and bouncing as they walked down the street or standing firm and attentive as they took their evening cocktails at a bar. A group of women had decided to rebel against this she continued, insisting the on at least one day a week they would remain covered above the waist until the menfolk had stripped off their shirts – and any undershirts, vests, singlets or whatever they might care to call them - to show their hairy chests. Only then would blouses and bras be discarded. The incident in the square had been a variation of this, as a one-off, where Wilbur Bumcrackson had offered to show his chest and donate to the orphans’ fund if popular town resident Mama Mex would respond. She had made him up his original offer and our picture shows that Wilbur did honour the agreement and pay up. When asked afterwards whether he thought the deal had been worth it his only comment was that they had an agreement and had both done their part. Police Chief Kayden noted that there was no town ordinance prohibiting women from appearing topless in public but he hoped this would not see an outbreak of gratuitous stripping in the square as the hospital had limited facilities for elderly gentlemen with heart conditions.